Friday, January 13, 2006

Simply Beautiful.

Nothing funny or deep here. I just have to say -- out loud -- how ridiculously lucky I am to live here.

Today's another one of those days when the mid-morning sky is the color of a Tiffany's box, and the white snow that covers the tallest of the mountain peaks contrasts against that blue in a way that just makes me stop in my tracks.


As I walk into my office (which I'm moving out of, next week), I get a glimpse of the mountains as I cross from the parking garaage to the sidewalk, then I can't wait until I get into the atrium, where I can take in the view until I have to turn in to the elevator lobby. I've been known to stop and look for just a few moments more, before I have to settle into my desk (which, on days like these, has a view of Pikes Peak to the south, but it's really not the same).

It's mornings like these where I'm lucky I don't rear-end someone on the way in to work, because (as most of my short drive is east-bound), I'm pretty much gazing at the Front Range in my rear-view mirror all the way in.

Unlike some Colorado residents, I'm not envisioning skiiing down those peaks, or conquering them with a climb. I'm just staring, because they're gorgeous.

I have my camera, and if I thought a picture could really do it justice, I'd post one, but it can't, so I won't.

Those of you who live here as well, already understand, I'm sure. But if I live here for the next 75 years, I'll never get tired of that view.

It's simply beautiful.

Friday, January 06, 2006

IQ -Guilty as charged

It's been a little while since I sought insight into the depths of your souls, dear readers. So here I am, once again, to ask deep, probing thoughts inspired by deep, meaningful events.


So, the Cute Blonde Boy and I were playing pub trivia last night, and this question came up:
"What are the first names of the 3 brothers in the pop group Hansen?"

I'm mortified to say that we both knew the answer.

I should clarify, for anyone who doesn't know: It's been a while since either of us were of the "pop group fan" age.

And yet, I don't mind hearing "Mmm-Bop" once in a while. As long as I'm coming clean, I'll admit that I really quite like several of Kelly Clarkson's songs. And ya know what? I've been known to sing along to a Britney Spears song in the car on occasion.

And that's all just the recent dirt.

If I dig back, there are plenty of other tunes that have darkened my MP3/CD player/cassette deck/turntable. I don't know that I need to expose my soul quite that much right now (I have to maintain some level of respectability, yanno), but I invite you to dish the dirt on yourself:

What guilty pleasure song(s) have you secretly enjoyed hearing, but not let on to anyone up until now?

Come on -- 'fess up.....

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

10 Things A Man Should Know About Women And Sex

Well, it's Dejo, your guest poster, here! I received a solicitation in the mail for a year's subscription to Esquire magazine at a very cheap price (of $5.99). Included with the offer was a list of "10 Things A Man Should Know About Women And Sex". I liked the list so I thought I'd share.

1. No matter how furtive or quick the glance, a woman always knows when you're looking at her breasts.

2. A good woman is as excited about a gift that costs nothing as she is about a gift that costs a lot. (The perfect, quirky gift that shows that you've been listening is worth twice the value of anything you'd find at Tiffany's.)

3. Never ask a woman why she's mad at you -- she will only get madder for your not knowing.

4. An unsolicited kiss is to a woman what free play-off tickets are to a man. Even better, flowers on days that aren't Valentine's Day, anniversaries, or birthdays.

5. Sometimes women want it when you don't, and for you not to give in on such occasions sets a terrible precedent.

6. If you're buying her a sex toy, do not presume she wants the biggest one -- most likely she does not.

7. How to locate the G-spot: Aim for it, and then ask her if your aim is true. (That said, if you ask every step of the way, you'll begin to remind her of her gynecologist.)

8. The woman-on-top position allows her more control over her destiny -- and allows many men more control over their duration. (However, that does not excuse watching television while she does all the work.)

9. It is crucially important that you do not have sex the same way every time. (Put another way: Having sex the same way every time makes people want to have sex with different people just to vary things.)

10. Love does not mean never having to say you're sorry. It means having to say you're sorry over and over again, in new and different ways, every day, every week, every month, even when you don't want to, every year, until God grants you his mercy and you finally, blissfully, die.

P.S.: "Ménage à trois" is French for "in your dreams."

P.P.S.: "Nobody actually eats the edible panties.

So, there's the list. Feel free to dicuss amongst yourselves. Better yet, mumble your thoughts back!

And now some jokes...

Joke #1:

A chicken and an egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a very satisfying smile on his face. The egg is frowning and looking frustrated. The egg says, "Guess we answered that question."

Joke #2:

One night a man rolls over in bed, giving his wife a big grin. She says, "Not tonight, honey. I have a gynecologist's appointment tomorrow. I want to stay fresh and clean." The man, feeling rejected, rolls over and tries to go to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls over again and asks his wife, "Do you have a dentist's appointment tomorrow?"

And finally... A Limerick:

On the chest of a barmaid at Yale
Were tattooed the prices of ale.
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.

Oh, speaking of which, Happy Birthday, Louis Braille! In honor of his birthday, Google has a special homepage logo.