Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Yes, but will it make my penis bigger?

So, I don't receive much spam (until recently, when my band's e-mail address got circulated into the deepest darkest depths of cyber hell), so I'm not really up on what the hip spammers are touting these days.

But I received this one and opened it (it had no attachments, and looked as if it was from a client) -- something I normally don't do. I'm still not clear on what it is they're trying to say. See if this seems like machine translation to you:

Sir/Madam,
Your current position has been evaluated to the important groups, and upon conscientious contemplation, we are able to extend to you the next offer.
Based upon conscientious contemplation you certify to achieve a princely gain on your initial property investment.

By completing the next attached form in a timely manner we will be able to complete our assessment, and we feel firm you will acheive not only a lowered rate of interest, but also a cash return that will fulfill all your holiday needs and more!

Please go here to complete this juncture of the treaty.

With warmest regards,
Lois Kimball

Should you prefer not to take gain of this holiday offer you can go here.

I can only hope that my next interviewer regards my résumé with such conscientious contemplation.

3 Comments:

Blogger Sus mused...

Interesting that you've suddenly begun receiving more spam cause I've had the same occurrence. I typically got 2 or maybe 4 stupid Viagra or false bank account notices and then all of a sudden about 2 weeks ago my Spam folder collects around 10+ a day! And they're types like the one you've posted or supposed "registration confirmation" or "mail delivery failure" and all have attachments. Bizarre. I'm soooo glad I'm a Mac user.

Thu Dec 08, 02:52:00 am  
Blogger DodysWorld mused...

Yes but do you get Spam in several languages? I get a lot of Japanese, Korean, French, German, Portuguese... and a lot of people in Africa trying to send me money. My penis is big enough, thank you. :-)

Mon Dec 12, 09:25:00 am  
Blogger Nichelle mused...

WHAT?????

Mon Dec 12, 10:20:00 am  

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