Thursday, February 14, 2008

Is it so much to ask?

When did it become illegal to have sleeves on a wedding dress?

REAL sleeves, mind you, not the crappy little cap sleeves that merely magnify the upper arm of any woman who does not focus 2 hours a day on tricep presses.

A sleeve that maybe covers the widest part of the arm, yet doesn't encase the entire arm in a suffocating, that-summer-heat-is-gonna-git-ya layer of organza.

Seriously. Do this, next time you're in the grocery store or bookstore:
Pick up a bridal magazine -- I don't care which one.
Open it up to a random page, and if that page has a picture of a dress -- bride's or bridesmaid's either one -- make a mental note as to whether or not it has sleeves.

Repeat 9 more times.

If you get ONE picture of a dress with sleeves, then you managed to hit the one page in that magazine that had the Freak of Design.

The size 4 brides from Chicago look lovely in their strapless dresses, I'll grant you that.
But I can guarantee that you don't want my curves exposed thusly.
And I can further guaran-damn-tee you that I don't wany my curves thusly exposed and then captured by a camera for all of eternity.

I want sleeves. Not a cute bolero jacket that goes on top of a strapless dress to ADD sleeves. Not some sheer fabric that was added as an afterthought. Sleeves. Designed with granny arms in mind.

Is that so much to ask?